Golden

Golden
By Velia Wrinn

I don’t know anything now.
I don’t know November.
I don’t know the people or the places,
Or the voices or faces
It doesn’t feel like home,
Not in the way it used to.
It used to be that I would get up at noon,
It used to be those care-free nights out at dinner in a dress too small for my body,
It used to be the same beat-up air forces I wore religiously,
It used to be the hot sand spilling onto a towel damp from my bathing suit,
It used to be that I knew who I was.
It used to be golden.
It’s all changed.
I knew July,
I knew the people and the places,
I knew the voices and the faces.
It felt like home.
Now, I get up at 5:30 just so I can shower,
Now, I have to be home by dark, and the wind blows too cold to wear those dresses too small
for my body,
Now, I have new shoes, and i’m obsessed with cleaning them,
Now, the sunlight shines too dark for the beach.
Memory fading of who I used to be.
God it used to be so golden.
I don’t know anything now.
I don’t know November.
I don’t know the people or the places,
Or the voices or faces
It doesn’t feel like home,
Not in the way it used to.
I think I’ll sleep now,
Don’t mind me now,
I’ll be ok now.

Even though I don’t know anything now.
Not in the way I used to.
God it used to be so golden.