Candy corn: the real horror of Halloween

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Art by Rachel Nearis

MARIA KOTOB, Staff Writer, Editor

As Halloween creeps up on us once again, stores are stocking up on various sweets, decorations, and our favorite scary movies. One of the best parts of this spooky holiday is being able to eat as much candy as you want without judgement. But one candy in particular always sparks a controversy, and its name is candy corn.

Candy corn is a small, tricolor, kernel or pumpkin shaped candy that can be found in bowls throughout houses every October. But before you take a handful to eat, prepare to have gum by your side because it is one of the most awful candies you will ever eat in your lifetime.

There is a certain pattern that occurs when eating this confectionery crime. As you take your first bite, your teeth dig into a soft, yet crunchy center. When the flavor hits your taste buds, you begin to regret any decision you made in your life that lead to this moment. This elicits one’s response of immediately spitting it out because of its overall unpleasantness.

I hate candy corn so much that if a criminal were to hold a gun to my head and tell me to eat an entire bowl of candy corn, I would have to seriously consider the option of being shot before I eat the candy.

Okay so that may be a bit of an exaggeration, but candy corn really is the worst candy ever made. Its taste has a flavor that not even its mother could love. It is a disgrace to all candies.

There are so many varieties of candies out there- Tootsie Rolls, Snickers, pumpkin shaped Reese’s, the list could go on forever. Yet, somehow candy corn, this little triangle of disappointment, has become the designated “Halloween candy.” It is time for a change in tradition.