Beloved GHS science teacher David Enos has traded his Tevas for Teslas, as he makes a shocking announcement to the GHS community: he has developed key technology to use in the fight against climate change, which has made him a billionaire.
“I can no longer deny the truth,” Enos, a former climate change denier said. “ It is with a heavy heart that I publicly acknowledge the effects of climate change. And, I implore the rest of you to do the same, using my new app, METAtrsl.”
METAtrsl, created by Enos, is an app within the Metaverse that can be used to measure the ground temperature with your bare feet. Enos came up with the idea after walking barefoot into a Dunkin’ and feeling irregular heat waves rising from Earth’s core. After that, Enos began developing his app, which is controlled by a bluetooth toe ring. The app has gone viral since its initial release in January, and is anticipated to become an integral tool for international climate change research.
The app is the latest step in his climate activism journey, and has given him a net worth of $2.3 billion. However, Enos has participated in other acts of environmental consciousness before all the acclaim.
In 1980, Enos began volunteering at the age of 12, working in harmony with the Carter Administration, where he honed his carpentry skills building houses with Habitat for Humanity. After that, he personally began digging up fossils to stop the usage of fossil fuels. Many of those fossils grace his classroom today.
Since then, Enos has created METAtrsl, and went on to address climate policy in front of the United Nations, which he covered up with heart surgery to account for his brief leave of absence last year. He has also created his own laboratory at his favorite daughter Destiny’s farm in New Hampshire.
“I never pictured Dave as the type to be eco-friendly,” said Science Department program leader John Barry. “Although, the barefootedness and earth-tone outfits should’ve been a clear giveaway he actually cares.”
Despite all of his accomplishments, Enos prides himself with his “common man” personality, which he maintains in everyday life.
“Although I may act technologically illiterate, I pride myself in being tech savvy,” Enos said. “I’ve even replaced the engine in my beater truck with a more eco-friendly component that utilizes some of the GHS sewage overflows. It may be obnoxious and smelly, but does any of that matter when you’re saving the world?”
Along with being an environmental activist, Enos is also a prevalent philanthropist, as he has pledged to leave his growing fortune to his self-made charity, the Humanitarian Organization of Maternal Economics, or HOME foundation. The foundation will focus on helping women leave the workplace, and aims to provide funds so women will no longer “weaken the economy, and households will no longer have to rely on two incomes,” Enos said.
Enos also revealed that he is currently in talks with Tesla CEO Elon Musk to create his own type of Tesla. This version of the electric car will be called the “Toesla,” and will be targeted to male customers who drive barefoot.
The Toesla is predicted to be a hit among customers, and will give both Enos and Musk a huge boost within their already growing net worths.
When asked about the future, Enos plans to take METAtrsl intergalactic, and launch a satellite into the stratosphere to monitor the state of global warming from above.
Enos himself plans to man the mission, and it is unclear when he intends on returning back to Earth to teach at GHS.
Billy • Apr 22, 2024 at 3:16 pm
This is amazing, I wish him the best of luck on his mission. 🙏