With course selections in full swing at Gloucester High School, upcoming juniors have a new elective opportunity for the 2025-2026 school year: National Honor Society Induction Preparation (N-SIP).
This highly coveted class will be taught by history teacher and self described “competitive perfectionist” Alyssa D’Antonio, who will take over as NHS advisor next year.
“I want to teach the best of the best,” D’Antonio said. “I want to crush the previous records for time, efficiency, and inductees.”
The course is open to elite juniors with weighted GPAs above 70, and will count for gym credit.
D’Antonio is also considering changing the name to the “National Society” to promote inclusivity.
N-SIP will cover essential skills such as candle lighting and extinguishing, brisk walking, advanced sashing technique, and standing up without making noise. Students will also learn how to navigate absurdly large floral arrangements.
D’Antonio was awarded a micro-grant from local community foundation “Slay Cape Ann” to fund course materials including 200 blue sashes, 200 candles and 20 mannequins of varying heights for students to practice sashing.
In addition to its original four pillars – Leadership, Scholarship, Service, and Character – the Waldorf U. Statler Chapter (WUS) will be adding a fifth pillar next year: Participation.
The Participation Pillar was recommended by GHS Science teacher Kurt Lichtenwald, who recently joined the N-SIP Selection Committee.
“While I think we should definitely celebrate those students who are meeting expectations, it’s also important to recognize their peers,” Lichtenwald said. “This pillar does exactly that: recognizing kids whose attendance records are their only redeemable quality.”
N-SIP will also prepare students for changes in the ceremonial dress code. Students have always been prohibited from wearing sneakers, but next year – to minimize noise made while walking across stage – inductees will forgo shoes altogether.
Science teacher, and barefoot walking connoisseur, David Enos will regularly collaborate with students to show them the meticulous techniques of walking barefoot.
“It’s an honor to be a part of the soon-to-be “National Society,” NHS President Madison Jones said. “I’ve embraced my leadership role by forging my peers’ signatures for service hours.”
N-SIP will also include a brief unit on the importance of chocolate chip cookies and brownies. Students will use the cafeteria kitchen to bake their own chocolate induction treats, with an automatic detention if there are any outside baked goods, such as blueberry muffins.
While the class is offered as pass/fail, it will still be challenging.
Although she will be stepping down as advisor next year, World Language teacher Rayanne Menery Sammataro will administer the final exam. She will sit on the auditorium stage as students attempt to silently stand up from their seats. Students will be graded on a scale of “do it again” to “that was fine.”
At least 100 students have signed up for Induction Preparation next year.
“My parents have already posted on Facebook about my daily induction practice credits,” GHS junior Sally Slacker said. “But I’m really only taking the class to boost my GPA.”
Kurt Lichtenwald • Apr 2, 2025 at 7:51 am
Silence Dogood could not have written a better satire. When common sense seems to have left the building… satire is the only way to function in the overwhelming disfunction.